A complete site news archive starting from 22-May-2001 (Russian)

Shall you have interesting news/rumours involving Hungry Duck or at least a funny story about someone puking on you at the club - email it to duckholio@narod.ru.

Ask an easier question please. It's better to see yourself anyway.

Hungry Duck is a nightclub (often referred as a "bar") in the heart of Moscow, next to the Lubyanskaya square (where the headquarters of KGB are located, by the way). The trademark feature of the club is a bar counter and tables intended for dancing on them. According to the legend it all started when people attending corporate Pepsi Foods party in then nothing-special place got drunk and ended dancing on the bar counter. Instead of putting an end to the orgy the club's manager Doug Steele supported and encouraged it. The Duck was born.

Don't know what the Duck's bar counter looked like in mid-90's but now it is a large oval occupying the most of the room. The counter is reinforced and is in fact a normal if only narrow dance floor. At the corners of the oval (could you imagine that?) there are 4 metal poles used by professional strippers and enthusiasts for their tricks.

And this is how it works - people are dancing on the counter while thirsty ones are trying to draw barmen's attention from behind of jerking legs. Sometimes they succeed and the ordered stuff is placed on the same counter. Be a moment slow and someone will be sure to step into your beer.

What will follow is a total lyric, about the atmosphere and stuff.

Don't know if it’s because of the trivially ingenious idea of letting people dance on the bar-top or for some other reason the Duck has a very distinctive atmosphere.

Once long ago I was offended with the fact that my expectations of nigtclubbing didn't match the reality. Arrogant faces, cold smiles, closed groups of 2-3 people ignoring everybody else, soulless music, mechanical movements, a complete impossibility to dance with anyone, let alone becoming acquainted, and boredom, hard heavy boredom of people not knowing how to party - are you familiar with that?

Having found the same thing in every club I concluded this is how it’s meant to be. Offence transformed to a disappointment, I got things to do and almost ceased going to the clubs. And then (in February 2001, I guess) there was Hungry Duck.

I've seen "lavatory, brothel and stable at the same time" or something like that posted on the web about the club. This is probably one of the most precise definitions. Dark, smoky and stinking with sweat room, with beer spilled all over the floor, crammed with drunken ugly faces. And live, warm, *real* atmosphere at the same time.

Ok, it's time to stop. Come yourself and see if it works for you. Thinking about my own friends I imagine how they would react and get emotions ranging from disgust to surprise about my bad taste. There's no delight on the list. But you could be luckier.

Pushechnaya 9. Phone +7 (095) 923-6158. Metro "Kuznetsky Most".

The club has no sign, but there is an illuminated arrow pointing at the door.

Using public transportation: "Kuznetsky Most" station has one exit. Step over beggars in the vestibule and you'll find yourself in vomit-covered yard with a lot of kiosks surrounding it. Club is located in this very yard, so don't leave it, keep searching. Go about 20 yards to the left and turn left one more time through a gate. You should see the illuminated arrow.

By car: drive in the left lane by the Teatralnyi proezd into the Lubyanskaya square and turn left at the first opportunity. This is the Pushechnaya street. Drive about 100 yards and park prior to the first intersection. Go into the piss-stinking archway on the right side of the street. This passage leads to the yard mentioned above.

Legend:

1. Table in the center of the bar. Only girls are allowed to dance there, men are driven off by the security. Strippers perform on this table.
2. The famous counter, everybody is welcome to dance there.
3. Secluded corners around the room.
4. DJ's lair.
5. Entrance.
6. Balcony. Just a visor of the building open in the summer. People climb there through an opening that is something in between of a window and a door.
7. Second bar. Mostly drinking and talking there. No dancing.
8. WC.

The wardrobe is located at the ground floor by the entrance. The area of the property is about 3000 square feet.

The best day and time is Friday 11pm. Read here what could happen if one ignores this suggestion.

Cover is 200 roubles ($6) for gents and 50 roubles ($2) for ladies. Most drinks cost 50 to 150 roubles ($2..$5). Basically there are no other spending options in the club so any sum starting from 200-300 roubles allows one to feel himself comfortably.

There are a lot of 24-hour kiosks in the yard where one could get drunk quickly. In the winter you could go out in the yard but lately the security has been asking to pay another cover charge for re-entering. Those willing to get some fresh air are routed to the balcony.

Bring an ID wit you - either a passport or a driver's license. No, nobody will check you at the entrance. But there are sometimes police checking documents of leaving people outside of the club. If one has no documents there is a choice between a night at the police station or a bribe. 100 roubles ($3) looks as a good bid to start bargaining from if you are sober enough.

Foreigners and visitors - have registration documents with you (you should get ones with your visa) or you will have to pay some major bribes (cops scared $100 out from one American idiot although it was obviously about 3 times more than he could get away with).

It's better to leave drugs and weapons at home. I have witnessed searches with turning pockets inside out on a car hood.

It's better to leave at home any extra cash, credit cards and other valuables you don’t need at the club. The fewer things with you and the simpler your outfit, the happier you will be (at least it works for guys; girls have their own ways).

Hold your wallet and wardrobe token in a pocket reliable enough to keep them safe even if you'll hang upside down clasping a pole with your legs.

It's well known that Hungry Duck is an extremely lecherous place. The atmosphere is indeed relaxed there but no actual excesses are going on.

Myth: everybody's fucking in the Duck - in the WC, on the tables and so on. Sorry. I have never witnessed anything like that. A friend told me he's seen that about 5 years ago - all right, I believe someone fucked in a dark corner once. This wouldn't befall you, my dear reader, neither as a participant nor as a witness.

Added 17-Apr-2001. One of local girls with 5 years of Duck experience whom I carefully asked what has changed since the club was closed said: "They stopped fucking in the passages. Actually, that's why they closed the place."

Added 24-Jul-2001. NoXX testifies: "...there was a real fuckadrome, bunches of people were fucking in the WC...". Those days are gone...

Myth: everybody's naked at the Duck. Sorry. Sure, if everyone (especially girls, the security is stricter to the guys) wants to get naked and dance, nobody's gonna intervene. All the same, naked chicks (not counting the pro strippers) don't happen each day, there are no more than couple of them and they dance either on the bartop or on the table in the middle, unreachable to the lewd men. People accept them approvingly and rather comradely, nobody's grabbing them or bringing them down on the floor.

Myth: a girl visiting the Duck inevitably gets fucked. Only if she wants it herself. I'd say the girls’ butts get grabbed less frequently than one could expect. By the way, chicks sometimes pinch guys asses, and this is funny and pleasant.

Having re-read what I wrote - yep, only such trash could make the Duck happen.

News: instead of reading this article you can visit mp3-music of the Hungry Duck page and download yourself sick with the ducky mp3s.

The club has no DJs. At least they're not trying to be advanced. At the other venues people exercise a stiff upper lip jumping to what today is "hip" to play, the smart-looking DJ turns knobs and altogether the party looks as a weak attempt to "do as they do in Soho". At the Duck the DJ sits in a cage out of sight and his duty is to fade from one track to another. Which he doesn't manage and the music often skips over, stops or restarts. But it's loud. No one cares.

At the moment this article was written there were three basic types of music at the club. On a good night they are represented more or less evenly, on a not so lucky there will be a lot of techno.

About one and a half out of the 6 party hours between 11pm and 5am are devoted to striptease. Most of the club people like it, although I personally prefer dancing. There are 2-3 strip performances throughout a night, each going on for half an hour to hour.

There are male, female and transvestite shows. In order of descending spectacularity I'd line them up as transvestite-male-female.

Male strippers sometimes grab (consenting) girls out of the crowd and undress them artistically. The same thing sometimes happens to guys during the female shows, looking rather funny than sexy. Even the coolest guys become embarrassed in striper's hands and don't know what to do with their limbs. I recall this naked feeble tattoo-covered biker...

Probably the striptease, which forces me to sit in bar waiting for the dancing to resume, has earned most of the club's "lecherous" fame. Most of the photos (see HD resources) are taken at strip shows, the most passive time for most of the party people.

The Duck's difference from the strip clubs is that they don't try to milk clientele by obtruding lap dances and/or asking to tuck cash under stripper's panties. The main duty of visitors is to have fun and shout approvingly.

Fights happen quite often. Every other time according to my experience. Actually, I have never witnessed a fight or engaged in one, but I've seen people with faces beaten up. Taking into account the people and overall trend of the club one can easily can find a cause for a fight.

Usually fights happen in the street, for in the club there's usually no more than 10 feet to the nearest security officer at any given time.

I wouldn't elaborate on catfights; to the guys I have the following advice on improving safety. Either do sports and exercise some kind of fistfight or don't react on aggression, be reasonable and ask the security for help. I stick to the second option. By the way, the club's security is quite cooperative.

That said, let me note that I consider the Duck as a relatively safe place.

Link	Sample	Comment
The eXile - The End of an Era, The Hungry Duck Story	...The Duck tradition of young women dancing on the bar-top wearing little or no clothing also started as a practical adjustment to conditions: it's hot as hell in there during the summer, and a few ladies, under the influence of a few beers, took off their shirts for comfort...	An article of Hungry Duck manager in the English-language Moscow alternative The Exile. Dated 7-Apr-1999 when the club was temporarily closed. All you want to know from the primary source. Don't miss the stats in the separate box.
Photos at Alex Bondarenko site		Not a single photo I have seen does express in full what the Hungry Duck is. Most of the photos you could find are bad amateur shots of half-naked people, mostly strippers. Maybe that's the root for the myths. So you’d better not believe your eyes.
Photos from mwclub.narod.ru		Mostly photos of people, which is good.
Comments on the club at e-da.ru	"...Heap of rubbish, not a club! Prevailed by PTUshnitsy drunk as hell. Striptease performed by an 18-year-old teat looks just awful. So people, if you wanna hook a syphilitic whore - you're welcome..."	Vox populi. (You fuckers cannot understand what a ptushnitsa is anyway; PTU stands for a low-grade public school where teens get some core profession, like a weaver or turner; sure, the scholars spend most of the time drinking and having group sex.)
Moscow Ducks - Hungry, Naked, Drunk...	...Got to the metro station where we've been told the club is located. Looking for a building appropriate for a nightclub. Instead of a seedy hangout we see a solid multi-storey building. The plate tells us in golden letters that it is a House of Art Workers. We follow a flock of girls, still doubting. We're met with a keen smell of sweat and something sour. We sigh in relief: the club is here...	An article in Ogonyok magazine 1998. Surprisingly a very good one.
A transcript of the evening session of Russian Parliament 10-Mar-1999	An excerpt of a speech by delegate Kotkov: "We visited one of such bawdy places - called Hungry Duck near the Kuznetsky Most metro station. And so we have seen the following picture there. They let in our young girls starting from age 14 for free. They drink beer there, then dance on the bartop. After that a black guy appears and does striptease. Gets naked accompanied by the melody of Soviet anthem. I think, the times when we allowed doing this in our country are over. I think, if that black has performed in his own country, in the US, stripping by the melody of his own American anthem, he probably might get lynched for that..."	Nothing interesting save this. It looks like they temporarily closed the club on this wave of indignation.

The official site www.hungryduck.com doesn't provide a whole lot of information. In essence, non-members aren't entitled to anything at all save the address and a map, which I stole.

The main task of the site is to get you registered for amounts ranging from $39.95 for a 90-day access to $99.95 for a year. The magic login is supposed to give you access to an archive of photos and videos updated weekly. This is true, but there's a problem. There's nothing to see on a broad scale. Any free porn site will outperform the official site easily.

The only reason to get an account is to satisfy one’s nostalgia. If you're an American fired after your company closed its Russian branch after 1998's crisis, sitting in Idaho yearning for golden days at Duck - yes, it's probably the only way to get in touch.

Now comes the trick. I'm one of those idiots who have ordered the membership. Here's an example of a photo and a video from paid area of the site. Once you have seen this one you may consider you have seen all the rest.

Video: The Candymen entertain a crowd girl (4 Mb, 15 March 2001)

Photo from the series The Candymen interact with some crowd girls, 13 Feb 2001. The Candymen is a male strip show.

This article has been misleading readers by telling a story of some alternative Hungry Duck with homepage at http://www.razgulay.ru/hd/.

I made an attempt to visit this club on Friday, June 1 2001. Driven to Altufyevskoe shosse 2a I found some bar called "Violet" (or it seemed so because of pink sign) and nothing like Duck, even if alternative. I was persistent enough to enter the bar and talk to a guard who was unhappy with me coming in at 2am. I learned that "the club was in the next building and is closed for about three months".

Sure enough, if I wasn't such an idiot, I could read from the mentioned site "26.02.01 the club has been closed again, confirming its scandalous reputation". There can be only one. Ok, let's assert I suffered for a just cause.

I have to say the neighborhoods of Altufyevskoe shosse by the Vladykino metro station in the night is one of the most dead places one could imagine. There are buildings and roads but somehow you expect a pack of wild beasts running by any moment.

You can read an English article about the closed place in the eXile 08-Feb-2001.

Sometimes my friends recommend me other clubs. That's ok. But sometimes they carelessly say, "it's just like another Duck". In this article I've compiled my reviews on clubs recommended me this way. If you want to recommend me a club "just like Duck", you're welcome to do so by email or on the discussion board.

First, let me tell you I've been only disappointed so far. Thus if you don't like the Duck and even mentioning it makes you feel like you wanna get a shower - clubs listed here may suit you.

duckholio is me, the compiler and author of this page. At the beginning of 2001 I discovered Hungry Duck for myself and, riding the fresh wave of enthusiasm, bothered to write down all I know about the place. On Fridays I can be seen dancing in the crowded space in front of the speakers where the music is loudest.

Looking for name I found out that hungryduck, hungry-duck, duck and hd logins are taken at narod.ru free hosting service. The alias is derived from cornholio, but this is a story worth another comprehensive page.

I’m done. Gone to feed the ducks.